A to Z: The Dream Team Uncut!
by BellaPerea
Summary: Join the four resident geniuses stuck in one team by a drunk Tsunade and their day to day lives! Neji, Sasuke, Sakura and Shikamaru-uncut! N is for Nurse: because their manly pride bagged them the best one. :friendship:
1. Annoying

**A/N:LO AND BEHOLD, I present 'A-Z: The Dream Team Uncut!' I found time to write this on my grandmother's computer during my vacation. :)) Enjoy. :D**

A is for Annoying: Because we're all on a first name basis.

"You all have passed the ANBU exam with flying colors. I am very impressed with all of you!" Tsunade explained, glee hinted in her voice. In front of her were the four geniuses (or so they say) of Konohagakure.

First there was Hyuuga Neji. He was a great team leader, and uses logic to make his decisions. With his abilities and kekkei genkai, he is the frontrunner for the leader of any team. He also has his morals, and a balance between his job and his personal life. Although a bit cold, he can become close to a certain number of people.

Next was Nara Shikamaru. Ever since his academy days (or maybe even before that), he's been lazy on his ass, and yet can formulate over 200 different strategies in the span of two minutes or less. He didn't even want to take the exam, but his parents forced him to, and he passed…sad to say (for him, anyways).

After that is Haruno Sakura. She is the medical prodigy of Konoha—praised for passing the abilities of the Godaime herself just after her 16th birthday. She has the super strength of her master and the knowledge capacity of all the files in any literary piece found in the village, ranging from the books her teammate borrows from the library about human nature, to that of the secret files on nuke-nin in the deepest and darkest corners of the underground file vault.

Lastly, we have Uchiha Sasuke. When Team Kakashi first encountered Sasuke in the Grass Base, they (mostly Sakura) beat him to a bloody pulp, tied him up, and dragged his sorry butt back to the village. After snooping around some files, he found out that the Sandaime, the elders and Danzou plotted for Itachi to kill off the Uchiha bloodline. After learning this, the three were quickly expelled from the village, but Uchiha Itachi is nowhere to be found.

Now, back to the Hokage's office.

"All your records are very impressive, thus, you shall be a four-man cell from this day onwards!" The blonde cried, lifting up one of her many numerous sake bottles.

The four 22/23-year olds in front of her all groaned. They glanced at their new teammates. Why they would they work together? None of them were even close, the exception of Sasuke and Sakura being teammates for about ten years. Then again, Sasuke was with some snake pervert for the most of that decade, so…

"Shishou! You can't possibly believe we can all work together!" Sakura retorted, slamming her palms on the desk. She plucked the sake bottle from her teacher's hand.

"Hey, I was drinking that!"

"Shishou…" Sakura gave her best death glare, one that could definitely match that of an Uchiha or Hyuuga.

"Leave my fuckin' office, brats!" The Hokage shooed her student and her newly appointed teammates. The four filed out of the room, and when the last pink head ducked through the doorway, she shouted; "SHIZUNE, MY SAKE PLEASE!"

--

The four newly dubbed ANBU agents walked out of the tower all expressing in their own way just how much they hated the Hokage. Shikamaru looked up and rested his head on his hands and constantly whispered 'troublesome'. The white-eyed Hyuuga had his manly pride, thus shutting up. Uchiha was just about to rip the spikes of his hair out, but being _the_ Uchiha Sasuke, he was content with compressing his pocket lint in his palms.

Unlike the rest of her teammates, Sakura was being very open on how much her shishou annoyed the hell out of her as the foursome walked through the streets of Konoha. "Fuckin' shishou and her fuckin' sake, fuckin' blonds have to be so fuckin—UGH!"

She stepped in front of her three new teammates, a scowl on her face and her arms folded across her chest in the demeaning manner she learned from her teacher.

"What do you want, Haruno?" Neji asked, his Hyuuga glare directed at the team's female member.

"You," She pointed at the white-eyed man. "Stop calling everyone else by their last name. It ruins the 'teamwork' thing." She stated.

"Hm, I did hear Sai talking about something like nicknames…"

"WHEN THE FUCK DID YOU GET HERE BAKA?!" Sakura asked, pointing at the orange clad blonde standing in the middle of their new team.

"Since you and Teme got to ANBU, I thought we could all celebrate with Ichiraku's!" He explained. "Oh, now I get the nicknames. Since Sakura-chan calls me baka, I call him" –He motioned to a stoic Uchiha—"Teme, and he calls me Dobe, we all work together great! Isn't that right, Sakura-chan?"

"Hn,"

"Troublesome."

"Annoying."

"I DON'T WANT RAMEN!" Sakura cried, slamming Naruto's sunny blonde head and creating a giant hill on top of it.

"Well, at least use the nicknames!" Naruto retorted, rubbing said sunny blonde head.

"White-eyes," Shikamaru muttered.

"Lazy," Neji backfired.

"Ass," Sakura gestured to Sasuke, who was silent up to now.

"Annoying,"

"WHAT?!"

"Tche, women."

**A/N: Short, yes, I know. I promise the next chapter will be _WAY_ more interesting. In fact, here's a sneak preview:**

_"I didn't know Sasuke had a thing for Kakashi-sensei."_

**~Bella**


	2. Bed

B is for Bed: Because Sasuke was never a morning person

"Where the HELL is Uchiha?" Neji growled as the newly dubbed ANBU team sat on the walls of their village. His elbow rested on his lap as he leaning into his palm, holding himself up at 5:30 in the morning. Beside him, Shikamaru was snoring rhythmically, balancing on his side as he did so. His other present teammate was suddenly interested in her bootstrap, fiddling with the silver buckle at the hem, located right at the fold of her knee.

"Well," Sakura started. "He _is_ a student of Hatake Kakashi." She duly noted her former sensei's habit of being tardy as she stood up and dusted the none-existent dust off her uniform and armor. Like everyone else's uniform, Sakura's was the black sleeveless shirt, long gloves, knee-high boots, the shin, forearm and chest guards, and the pitch black cloak. The only difference was that instead of loose fitting shinobi pants like the boys', hers was a pair of black form-fitting leggings, tucked under the opening of her boots. "I can go get him if you want."

Neji nodded and the medic disappeared in an array of pink petals.

--

Sakura walked up to the Uchiha Estate, the property reclaimed by its young survivor after his 18th birthday and his parole. Instead of using the door though, she jumped onto a tree growing by the main house and crept into the master's bedroom.

After all, she is _also_ a student of Hatake Kakashi.

She hid in the shadows cast by the peeping sunlight and stood right above Sasuke's sleeping form. _'And he called Shikamaru lazy…'_ She thought as she clutched a pillow she found discarded on the floor. It loomed over the Uchiha's body like the plague. She was about to bring it down on him when she heard him mumble something as he buried his nose into the black silk _**(**_Inner Sakura: _**damn you rich bastard) **_of the pillow his arms were wrapped around.

"Kakashi…"

Sakura stifled a giggle as she whipped out a digital camera and click the 'record' button. The sleeping male continued to mumble the name of his sensei, hugging the pillow closer to his body. She continued to laugh until she hid the camera, thinking it was enough for the ultimate blackmail. She resumed her position with the pillow and brought it down on her former crush with enough power to have it called the 'Black Death'—literally.

"WAKE UP SASUKE!!!!"

As she scream his name, he jumped up and pressed a kunai to her neck. Realizing who it was, he retracted it and tucked it in the fold of the comforter. "It's just you."

"Don't 'it's just you' me Uchiha Sasuke! Since when have you been late?" She asked, flailing her arms frantically as she waited for an answer. When she only got the customary 'hn', she crossed her arms across her chest, trying to push back down the chakra instinctively making it's way to her fist. "Just get dress!" She cried, grabbing his chest plate and shoving it in his direction before disappearing through the window once more.

--

During their mission to retrieve documents of a potential conspiracy against the Hidden Leaf from Konoha's spy in Iwagakure, Sakura couldn't look at Sasuke straight in the eye. If she ever did catch his cold black eye, she would turn away immediately, biting her cheek to suppress fits of laughter.

They were now halfway to their destination, resting for the night. They've been traveling since 6 AM, only to stop to drink water or nibble on an energy bar. Neji was starting the fire while Sakura and Shikamaru set up the sleeping bags around the fire. Sasuke was sent down to the nearby stream to get some dinner.

Once Sakura was sure Sasuke's chakra was down at the stream, she whipped out her digital camera and pulled her two teammates on her sleeping bag beside the fire. "Check this out." She pressed 'play' on the touch screen and the video of Sasuke's earlier incident was viewed by his other teammates.

After the video ended, grins (or smirks, she never could tell, even after years of being exposed to guys like that since childhood) were plastered on the two geniuses' faces.

Neji piped up. "I never knew Sasuke had a thing for Kakashi-sensei." He chuckled in a tone that noted his superiority over the Uchiha. As if _the_ Hyuuga Neji would ever get caught mumbling his sensei's name in the night. He's too smart for that.

No, what's coming for him was much, _much_ worse.

**A/N: FAST UPDATE! -fist in the air- Er...I'm not sure if they have digital cameras in the Naruto world, but judging by the fact that there are movies, televisions and radios, I'm guessing there are digital cameras. **

**Okay, sneak peek, since I left you with a cliffy-ish part. :))**

_"Dammit! You've kissed more boys than I have, and I'm a girl!" _

**No, this is not _i repeat NOT a yaoi fic, for I totally detest that kind of stuff. I am merely making fun of Sasuke, because he is a complete(ly hot stupid inner Bella. _THINK SASORI, SASORI, SASORI!!) bastard for leaving the village and other unmentionable crimes he has done. Don't take me wrong--I have nothing against gay love. I just can't imagine my Naruto bishie like that!! :((**

**Oh, and if I offended and Kakashi fangirls (ahem, cough-KURIPSU-cough), he's not gay. Just very tardy, perverted, and TOTALLY FRIKIN' AWESOME. :))**


	3. Cuddle

**Teehee! I'm back from Disneyland!! I didn't get my picture with Goofy though. :'(**

C is for Cuddle: because Neji is the prettiest girl in the group, or Sasuke is really going blind.

They already had the documents with them, sealed in a scroll in Neji's kunai pack. On their way back, they have fought a group of bandits and some rogues, but nothing they couldn't handle. Camp was set up, and 3 out of four members were sleeping soundly. To follow protocol, one would keep watch, and they would switch every two hours.

Sakura took the third shift, allowing Shikamaru to get some shuteye. He nodded and lay down in his sleeping bag as the pinkette donned her black cloak. She sat on a tree branch that hovered above the group and started swinging her legs aimlessly to pass the time.

Finally, her 2-hour shift ended with no casualties. She hopped down from her tree branch and walked over to her raven-haired teammate on the other side of the campfire. She couldn't help but snicker and pull out her (recently very useful) digital camera and take a snapshot of the…ahem…circumstance.

_The Uchiha Sasuke_ _**cuddling face first into**__ The Hyuuga Neji's __**neck.**_ They face each other, arms warped together in a strange pretzel. Noses were DANGEROUSLY close, to the point that they could almost be…

'_I don't have to wake him up now…it'll ruin his fun.'_ She thought as she returned to her branch, sniggering at the little screen of the camera.

--

The next morning, the team was packing up to return to Konoha. Sasuke was mad at the pink-haired medic for not letting him take watch, but she merely gave him the excuse that his injuries were the worst of the team's, and she needed him to rest.

"Besides," She taunted. "I didn't want to ruin your 'fun' with Neji."

This made the said Uchiha and mention Hyuuga stiffen slightly. They looked up at their only female teammate as she sealed her sleeping bag in a scroll and dropped in it her pouch. She merely beamed at the two as she followed Shikamaru into the trees.

Neji let out a low growl. "Haruno, give me that camera right now!"

Sasuke looked at him questioningly. "What camera?"

"The one she took to take a video of you hugging a pillow and moaning Kakashi's name." He explained.

"Sakura…"

The two shot into the forest at light speed to catch up with their other two teammates.

A few minutes of running and they catch up with the tactician and the medic, laughing their heads off. When they felt the killing intent surrounding the two ice cube kings, she stopped and sat on the branch putting on her most innocent yet angry pout-y face as she crossed her arms in front of her torso.

"I have a reason to be mad too, y'know." She said as the Hyuuga and Uchiha halted to a stop, shooting their worst death glares at the kunoichi.

"Why is that?"

"DAMMIT! Uchiha Sasuke, you've kissed more boys than I have! And I'm a girl!" She accused angrily.

Sasuke stared at her in surprise. He then looked at the (equally stoned) Hyuuga from the corner of his eye. _'So that's what happened last night…'_

"Either way, you wouldn't be able get the camera." She said, breaking their epiphany. She reached into her chest armor, right where her cleavage should be, into a pocket that held a small scroll. "I believe, this is what you're looking for." She said, before running off through the forest.

--

**Yes, Sakura has a thing for putting her stuff in scrolls. It actually makes things much easier to carry. That's why her pack is always so small. **

**NEXT CHAPTER'S SNEAK PEEK!**

"Yeesh, and I thought you were a genius."

**SHIKAMARU'S NEXT!**

~Bella


	4. Date

**A/N: Ehe...sorry it took longer than usual. I went to Universal Studios!! I tripped going out of the Mummy ride. :P Curse my clumsiness and my effin' awesome Airwalk's. :))**

**I got a new laptop! Now, I can update faster!! iBook BAYBEH! \m/-\m/**

**SHIKI'S TURN!**

D is for Date: Because he shouldn't have told his teammate--or the blonde one.

Suna was less than a mile away for the four ANBU (ordered to dress jounin for this specific mission). Without their masks, their faces were red in the midday heat. Sakura, the one with the most exposed skin in her black half skirt, mesh shorts and red Haruno shirt under a heavy jounin vest was suffering extreme sunburn and fatigue. Neji, with his heavy Hyuuga robes was (not so) obviously tired, trudging through the desert. Shikamaru had rolled up the sleeves of his Nara-Konoha uniform, and Sasuke had downed the last of their water supply.

Once they got through the gates, Sakura raced for her blonde girl friend and nearly collapsed in the Sand-nin's arms. "Tema-chan, I don't know how they hell you stand it! Kankuro wears a black hoody!" The medic cried.

"Ne, you get used to it Saku-chan." Temari explained, pushed Sakura a safe distance from her. Once she did, the other Konoha shinobi appeared behind their female teammate. "Good afternoon Hyuuga-san, Uchiha-san, Shikamaru."

Sakura got over her 'OMEE IT'S SO HOT' rant to raise a perfect pink eyebrow. "Tema-chan, why are Sasuke and Neji referred to with last names while Shikamaru is…well, Shikamaru?"

Temari shot a look at her pink-haired friend. "Er…ehm, Gaara is waiting for you in the Kazekage tower. I'll take you guys there." She raced ahead of the group, the three boys following after. Sakura continued to raise her eyebrow before shaking it off, deciding to ignore it for the moment.

--

They were halfway back to Konoha, the Sand Siblings in tow. They set up came about a mile and a half from a lake, surrounded by the large pines of River Country.

The Konoha shinobi took 2 shifts from the 2-hour watch circulation, 2 shinobi at a time, with the Suna bodyguards of the Kazekage and siblings. Neji and Sasuke took the first shift. With the Byakugan and Sharigan, they could find any potential attackers hiding in the flora of the forest. Two hours and no attackers later, two of the four-man team of Sand shinobi took over for the two prodigies.

Another two hours later, Sakura and Shikamaru took the watch. They attached their radios on their necks and stuck the extension in their ears. The shadow wielder took the north side, while the medic took the south.

"_Honestly,"_ Sakura's voice came over Shikamaru's earpiece. _"You could be so dense."_

"Pardon?" The Nara asked, confused by his kunoichi teammate's inquiry.

"_Yeesh, and I thought you were a genius. Temari is SO into you. What, do you need a neon sign hanging above her head screaming 'Ask me out GODDAMNIT!'" _The fifth's apprentice cried, causing Shikamaru to cringe slightly. _"When we get to Konoha, you're going be her guide, whether you like it or not. You shall take her to Yamato Park, sit by the big-ass waterfall, out in the open under the sun so you can go cloud watching together!"_

Shikamaru was so overwhelmed with his teammate's rant; he had to pull the earpiece away from his sensitive eardrum. "Alright, ALRIGHT Sakura, I'll ask her out! Just quiet down! I still don't know how the hell you passed the ANBU exams with all your noise…"

"_Genius, remember? And take note of two of my best friends—blonde, loud and obnoxious, remember?"_

"You're best friends with quiet Hyuuga too, right?"

--

"INOOOO!!!" Sakura ran into the flower shop and slammed her fists on the counter, just as her blonde best friend was coming up from under the counter. A violent bump was heard followed by a screech, just before Ino herself was able to appear, rubbing her head.

"Billboard Brow, can you keep the screaming to a minimum? Geez, you're worst than Naruto sometimes."

"Guess which one of my teammates bagged a date…?" Sakura said, and Ino noted the teasing tone in her voice. After the blue-eyed girl thought long and hard, and silence grew between them, the pinkette's overly cheery grin turned into a scowl. "C'mon Ino. At least ONE of my teammates should be straight."

Ino eyed the girl curiously. "Are you sure?"

"IT'S SHIKAMARU FOR KAMI'S SAKE!" Sakura cried, waving her arms frantically in a 'matter-of-factly' way. "With Tema-chan!"

Ino suddenly lightened up. After she and Chouji became an item, she's been trying to get Shikamaru on a date for God-knows-how-long. "I've been trying to do that for years! How'dya get him to do it?"

Sakura sighed. "Scream in his ear through the earpiece in a loud and obnoxious voice."

--

"Nani Sakura, what are you so happy for?" Tsunade asked as her apprentice as the pinkette was dancing around with a stack of papers.

"You haven't heard, Tsunade-shishou?" Sakura questioned. "One of my teammates has finally found love!"

"YOU MEAN NARUTO FINALLY CONFESSED TO HINATA?!" Tsunade stood up and plastered the overly happy grin Sakura wore a few seconds ago.

"A…no. The _other_ team."

"SHIKAMARU FINALLY ASKED TEMARI OUT?"

Sakura nodded, and the teacher-student team was jumping around the circular office, celebrating the strategist's first date.

Shizune walked in, holding a clipboard full of meeting schedules. "Tsunade, the—" She saw the two other females rejoicing for some strange reason. "I'll come back later." She said, closing the door as a single sweat drop trickled down her forehead.

**(A/N: Sorry, I just HAD to add that. :D)**

--

Sakura was overwhelmed—SHIKA FOLLOWED HER ADVICE! And she was following him…along with Ino.

The two girls were perched in a tree, not too far away from the falls themselves. The tandem was nearby. The falls may have blocked the audio, but being kunoichi, they were experienced in the art of lip reading.

"Holy…"

Shikamaru leaned into Temari, so close that their noses touched. They could see him smirk and Temari blush as he came in closer and…

"PICTURE OP!" Sakura shouted/whispered and brought out her digital camera. While Shika and Tema were having their own moment, Sakura was having her own. "My team's not completely gay!" She chanted. "It's my birthday!"

"Troublesome…" Shikamaru and Temari appeared beside her. "I would chase after you since you have that picture, but after seeing Sasuke and Neji fail, it's too…TROUBLESOME."

"Aha! Smart boy…" Sakura smiled and ruffled his hair.

**A/N: Please review! It will make me happy!!! :D**


	5. Emergency

**A/N: UPDATE!! It was hard to find a word for this chapter, because I accidentally left the notebook with my list in the US! It's gonna be sent over, but still! EEP!!**

**Anyways, I don't own Naruto. But still, be appreciative of my hard work and review. :" **

Our favorite team of genii sat under a large oak tree, discussing a few tactics after training.

Well, this is an excuse for lazing around after Sakura has healed everybody's wounds from training.

Neji was reading about interrogation tactics as he sat on a large boulder. Shikamaru was sleeping under the tree on his side, a bit of drool slipping from the corner of his mouth. Sasuke leaned on the trunk of the tree, his eyes closed in meditation. Above him, Sakura laid on a branch, admiring the view of leaves and the sunny sky.

I can't say much for their surroundings though, With power packed punches, chakra rotations, fireballs and chidoris, and don't forget the shadows that can pierce through your body, the training ground was a desolated wasteland full of craters and dying fires.

As the team was relaxing from the day's workout, a yellow dot and a bluish dot was approaching their field, the yellow one frantically waving its limbs.

"Nani Ino?" Shikamaru asked, opening his eye to glance at his blonde ex-teammate. Hyuuga Hinata, who was busy reminding Neji about some family business, accompanied her.

"Well, I was wonder what you guys were going to wear for Tsunade's birthday bash tonight." Ino inquired, eying the team suspiciously.

"Yamanaka, did you even dare to find out if we were even going?" Sasuke retorted.

"Well are you?"

"No," Neji replied, turning away from his cousin.

"Too troublesome," Shika added.

"Hn," GUESS WHO.

"I'm forced to, sadly. Yet I'm too pooped to go." Sakura sighed, rolling to lie on her stomach to face her friend.

"Well, since it _is_ mandatory to go," When she said this, everyone's eye widened. "What were you planning on wearing?" She asked.

"Uniform," They chorused.

Ino let out a shriek. "Are you _cereal?_ You can't go to the most awesome ultimate sixtieth birthday bash in your _uniform_. It's a freaking street party for god's sake! You can't go in…" She looked at their outfits, AKA exact replicas of what they were going to wear. Sakura was in her black skirt and boots with her red Haruno sleeved shirt. Shikamaru was in his jounin uniform (vest and all) while Sasuke donned a white sip-up shirt with the Uchiha symbol at the back and black shinobi pants plus wristbands. Neji was in his white Hyuuga robes and black sandals.

Ino didn't like the look of it.

"THAT! OH, THE HORROR! Who the hell do you guys think you are, WORKAHOLIC ANBU?"

"Ino-pig, do you even realize who you're talking to?" Sakura asked, rubbing her temples.

"WE MUST GO SHOPPING! WE MUUSSSSSSTTTTT!!!!!" She cried, before creating four clones and hauling off one genius with each Ino-copy, and the real body in the lead. With her clones, she bound and gagged the four genii and dragged them to the shopping center. In fact, she was so busy tying them up, that she didn't realize that a certain blue-haired girl slip away quietly, totally mortified by the sight of her cousin tied by a frantic blonde.

And yes, she was going to tell her father.

Somehow, a chuunin Yamanaka daughter has overcome a team of advanced ANBU, bound them with ropes and dragged them all the way across the village, as if flaunting the above fact. She took them to the shopping district, treating them like pet Chihuahuas, holding them by the extension of the rope that tied them.

"HERE WE ARE!" She announced happily, and removed the ropes around the genii. They inhaled deeply, enjoying the air after being deprived of it for Kami-knows-how-long.

"INO-PIG!!" Sakura screamed, attempting to attack the purple clad girl until Shikamaru held her back mouthing 'no use'. She sighed in return, knowing very well that it was useless.

"Let's get the boys' clothes first, then we can spend more time dress shopping!" She said, oblivious to the (inaudible yet very colorful) complaints from the 4 ANBU. Each of her clones then grabbed an arm and dragged a genius with them, following the original into the department store.

"Let the suffering begin."

--

After hours of circling the Men's Department endlessly, Ino was proud of her work. For her ex-teammate, she got a brown blazer and pants, with a mossy green graphic tee under and brown loafers. The stoic Hyuuga was given a long-sleeved white button down polo and black slacks with black dress shoes. Sasuke was stuck in a pair of dark wash jeans, a short-sleeved dark blue button down shirt and a black vest.

Ino clapped her hands in delight at the three bishies in front of her. "Yes!" She danced happily around the group. "Now," She said in a threatening tone. "Dress shopping."

Sakura may not look like the type, but she hates formal dresses. The last time she even wore a dress was she 13, and that was uniform. She barely went to formal events anyways, so she didn't own any formal dresses. Ino knew that she ABSOLUTELY _hated _wearing dresses.

She rolled in the bliss of torturing her best friend.

"Kay, you boys go on ahead home, and we'll meet you in the town square at seven!!" Ino chimed, dragging Sakura towards the dress shop.

--

Seven o'clock came and the three males were impatiently fending off fangirls. Where the hell were Ino and Sakura, you ask? Well, I'll give you a hint.

"DON'T TOUCH MY HAIR BITCH!!"

"SAKURA, PLEASE!!!"

"NO NO NO NO!!!"

Yes, it was the usual battle of blond vs. pinkette hair battle. Curls or no curls? Up or down? Ino and Sakura used to argue about this everyday when they were little. Too bad they never got over it.

--

Forty-five minutes, 30 cries and several make-up brushes later, Ino and Sakura were making their way to the town square, elbows links together as if nothing ever happened. They compromised: Sakura would keep her hair however she wanted if Ino got to do her make-up. They shook on it and the two were the best of friends again.

"Neji-san! Sasuke-kun!" Ino waved to the two boys (Shikamaru disappeared with Temari half-an hour ago), effectively distracting them from the rabid throng of girls waiting to rape them. Though they weren't openly gaping, they were secretly admiring the beauty of the blond and the pinkette.

Ino wore a purple halter dress that fell to her knees. The back dipped low, thus exposing her clear skin on the arms and back. Gold bracelets and armlets decorated her limbs, and gold BC sandals adorned her feet.

Sakura wore an emerald green dress that matched her eyes. It was off-shoulder and half-sleeved, hiding her ANBU tattoo. It hid everything else in the front until mid thigh. The back dipped low like Ino's dress, except it stopped mid-back. Black wristbands with silver Haruno symbols attached were on both her arms, and a matching choker decorated empty skin. She wore black strap stilettos that wound around her leg 'til her knee.

"'Sup guys?" Sakura asked, smiling at her gawking teammates.

At this, Sasuke just gave his signature 'hn' while Neji decided to stare down the spot on the wall behind Sakura's head.

As they did this, Sakura waved a hand in front of their faces rapidly. They didn't flinch.

"Guys…?"

"Hello?"

"EEK! FANGIRLS!!!!"


	6. Family

**A/N: Long-ass chapter (at least by drabble standards). :D Expect a little family angst on Sakura's side. Also consider this as Sakura's 'turn'.**

**Sorry for not updating this since last month, but the teachers in our school had some STUPID idea to put test week, Integration week (something like project fair...IDK) and SATURDAY CLASSES (pray for me, that's 20 hours of sleep down the drain) IN THE SAME GODDAMNED MONTH, right after the QUARANTINE BREAK, so everything is CRAMMED together.**

**WHo am I to complain? I am THE CRAMMASTER! \m/**

**By the way, there's a poll on my profile for pairings in this story. Go there and VOTE!! (after you read and review, of course.)**

**Enjoy!**

F is for family: Because everyone has weird relatives.

Our four favorite genii were (again) relaxing under their usual tree after training. Well, it wasn't exactly 'relaxing' per se, unless a tense game of shogi between a pineapple-headed genius versus a pink-haired one of the same smarts and caliber is relaxing.

Green eyes matched brown and narrowed into slivers as the woman picked up the knight. Brown eyes widened as she set the piece down on his king. A smirk was played on the woman's lips before they opened to speak.

"I—"

"Sakura-hime!" A high-pitched male voice rang through the training field, and 3 of the four genii turned to see who it was. The other was banging her head on the shogi board repeatedly crying, "Screw my life".

Neji raised an eyebrow at the kunoichi. "Sakura…_hime_?" He asked playfully.

"Sakura-hime!" The man repeated before tripping in a hole the Hyuuga's rotation created. The hime in question got up and ran to the brown-haired man in the hole.

She offered him her hand and pulled him out of the hole, continuously brushing dust off his yukata. "Wanatabe, what are you doing here?" She inquired after the man straightened himself out.

"You are due to visit home again, Sakura-hime, especially since Emi-onee-san has given birth. The family misses you so. Grandmother is missing you as well." Wanatabe explained, and the tick mark pulsing on Sakura's forehead getting larger at every word he said. "Is something the matter, Sakura-hime?"

The pink-haired kunoichi glanced at her 16-year old cousin, with his shaggy brown hair and green eyes, he almost reminded her of Kiba when he was younger. Thinking of the dog-nin, she raised her arm to strike the boy, but instead ended up sighing and patting his head affectionately. "Tell grandmother and the others that I'll come by the estate this Saturday, okay?" She smiled.

The boy bowed eagerly, repeating the action again and again in excitement. "Oh, yes Sakura-hime! Of course!" He was about to start off when Sakura's voice stopped him.

"But never, _ever_ stop by during training _ever again_." She threatened, then shifted her features to beam at the brunette innocently. "Alright, Wanatabe?"

He bowed again, this time keeping his head down. "H-hai Sakura-hime!" And with that, he left.

Sakura glared at the spot Wanatabe occupied when she felt the three presences of her teammates approach her. One was scoffing.

"Sakura…_hime_?" Shikamaru questioned, leaning his head on his hands leisurely. "What's that about?"

Sakura slapped her forehead into her palm as she gave a loud, aggravated groan. "My last name may be Haruno, but that's my mother's family."

"We've already me your mother during the festival." Sasuke deadpanned.

"Well, you haven't met my father." the pinkette said, and the three men shook their heads, causing her to sigh. "His last name is Shiori."

Neji blinked rapidly, as if just realizing something. "You're the heir to the most powerful merchant family in Konoha?" He asked, disbelief evident in his voice.

"Supposedly not. Before I graduated the academy, my last name was Shiori. My parents thought my wanting to be a kunoichi was just a phase, so they played along. After I graduated though, they planned on disowning me. But since I am the favorite, they just decided to make me use my father's name and hide the fact I'm from the Shiori. Problem is, they don't want to go public because they're known to detest shinobi. My mother moved with me to make it inconspicuous."

Shikamaru implied the fact that all of them from prestigious clans and have to live with everyone else in their family. "Isn't that against clan law? By now, you would've been completely disowned."

"My family took pity on me, apparently. They still think that after I've had my fun as a kunoichi, I'll go back and become the head of the family. I don't understand why they won't take any of my cousins instead."

"Don't you want to be head of the family? I thought everyone did. Even Hyuuga over here." Sasuke pointed out.

She halted and turned towards her team with a menacing glare on her face. "If _you_ want to know why I don't want to run that psycho circus, go find out for yourself! You guys come with me to the compound and see how amazingly horrible and bland and crazy my family is!" She cried, just before stomping away with a huff. Then she added loudly, "Sunday, 3 o'clock at my place!"

A few moments of awkward silence loomed over the three males as they watched their only female teammate disappear in the crowds.

"So does that mean…" Shikamaru trailed off, slightly confused on what the heck just happened.

"We're visiting her family this weekend." Neji finished, spinning on his heel and leaving the other two geniuses in the middle of the street.

"Troublesome."

--

In their uniforms was how Sakura saw them when she opened the door.

"Oh my _fucking_ Kami." She groaned, clutching her pink hair between her fingers. "UNIFORMS? WHEN VISITING MY GODDAMNED FAMILY?"

The boys blinked repeatedly, not entirely ignoring the surge of déjà vu that passed right through them.

"FORMAL! HAVE YOU NOTICED HOW MY FAMILY DRESSED? WHAT IS IT WITH BOYS AND THINKING THAT A CLEAN UNIFORM IS ACCEPTABLE FOR A FAMILY OCCASION? OH MY GOD, ALL OF YOU ARE FROM THESE RICH-ASS NINJA FAMILIES, AND YOU CAN'T DRESS PROPERLY FOR A LUNCHEON?" She started droning, pulling on the white kimono-like top over her pastel green dress. Her shoes were white strap wedges that tied around her ankle, making it easy to slip off in the estate.

She walked over to the mirror by the doorway of her apartment and tied a white ribbon in the place of her headband without interrupting her long speech about proper attire. As she pulled on her silver bracelets, she walked to where her teammates were, grabbed the two closest ones by the elbows and dragged them towards the Shiori estate.

"Did you have to dress so fucking obviously in your shinobi gear?" She continued her rant, ignoring the stares (ahem, glares) people (cough – fangirls – cough) were giving her as she dragged two of Konoha's most wanted bachelors with another one trailing behind her. "Do you know how much my family disapproves of shinobi? They're probably the only ones in Konoha who aren't proud of me becoming ANBU! They didn't even go to our party! Such inconsiderate relatives!"

"Sakura…"

"They don't even drop by because it's too _embarrassing_ to be in _the lower district_. I have a perfectly fine apartment and—"

"Sakura!"

"WHAT?"

The pink-haired medic turned to look at her three teammates, all pointing to large wooden gates with a flower carved on the front. The large tower that stood beside it revealed two guards, both who were looking down and waving at the group below.

"Sakura-hime, haven't seen you 'round here in a while!" One called down.

"Watanabe was sent to ask me to visit the estate a few days back! And you know you can't defy my grandmother!" She shouted back, plastering the genuine smile she was known for to replace the scowl she had for her teammates earlier.

"Well, it's just nice to see you hime! And you brought friends!" The other one cried, cupping his lips with his palm.

"Just my teammates, Toru-san! Will you open the gates please?"

At those words, the large wooden gates were opened, and the four ANBU walked in the compound belonging to the Shiori family. The streets were bricked with old cement stones (like in Rome), damp from the recent rain that fell upon Konoha. Large white houses paved the streets, the owners of the houses waving and bowing to Sakura as they moved along.

Sakura whirled around when she heard a snort. She crossed her arms across her chest, reminiscent of her mentor's own stance. "If you can't watch this without laughing, at least smile at them. You're scaring away my relatives with your death glares!"

"Hmph."

"Troublesome."

"Whatever."

"Men."

They arrived at the largest house in the compound and Sakura stepped up to ring the bell.

"IS THAT MY KURA-HIME?" A voice rang through the compound before the door flew open, revealing a tall, lithe male in a white and grey yukata. "Sakura-chan!"

Sakura jumped into the man's arms, hugging him around the torso tightly. "Daddy! I missed you so much!"

"Ne, Kura-hime, then why don't you visit anymore? Your mother lives here too you know." He scolded.

"Sorry Daddy. I've just been kind of busy, with missions…" She meekly tucked one heel behind the other as her head hung low.

"Sakura, you're still taking those useless missions?"

"They are not—"

"Sakura-chan!" A woman ran through the doorway and grabbed Sakura's small form into her arms. "Haven't seen you in a while my child!"

"Hi mom." Sakura deadpanned the greeting to her overly cheerful mother.

"Oo…and you brought some boys over!" The mother squealed at the sight of the three bishounen, while Mr. Haruno froze in his spot.

"B-b-boys? My Kura-hime brought _boys_?" He fumed.

"Mom, you've met my teammates, Neji, Sasuke and Shikamaru." Sakura pointed to each individual shinobi as she said their name.

"Oh yes, the handsome boys during the festival, am I right?" Haruka clapped her hands together as she bent down to her daughter's level and whispered; "I find Sasuke-kun the cutest. But Neji's quite handsome as well, ne? Too bad Shika-kun is already taken, right?"

Sakura blushed madly at her mother's comment. "Mother!"

"Come inside boys! I made some tea!"

Everyone filed inside except Haruno Ken, who continued to be frozen to the spot.

"B-boys?"

--

"Onee-chan!" A red-haired girl who looked to be around the age of 10 jumped into Sakura's arms, knocking her down onto the wooden floorboards. "Sakura-onee-chan, did you bring me something from that flea mark—"

Sakura slapped a hand down on the girl's mouth as her father eyed her carefully, disapproving of his daughter's _peasant ways. _"It's nothing…" She batted her eyelids **(A/N: It can't be 'eyelashes', because that is physically impossible) **at redhead man. "_Daddy…_"

Ken just shrugged it off and Sakura's head turned violently to her little cousin. "Emiko, if you ever mention what your Uncle Ken describes as _pathetic_ and_ mundane_ in front of him again, I'm not gonna get you a pretty dress for your school dance." The pinkette threatened, and Emiko consented.

"Ooh, Sakura-onee-chan, who are these boys with you?" Emiko inquired after Sakura released her lips. "Maybe if I bring one of them to the school dance, Kimi would stop teasing me about my large forehead."

Sakura stiffened when she felt Sasuke by her head. "Sounds like someone I know…" He chanted.

A tick-mark appeared on the pinkette's forehead as she lifted her foot and aimed it at the back of the Uchiha's Konoha vest, right at the red swirl. The raven-haired man fell forward, causing a chuckle to escape the other two males in the room.

"BAKA! IT'S HEREDITARY!!" Sakura cried, straddling Sasuke's torso and bonking him on the head repeatedly with her fists.

"How unlady-like." A voice rang, and the occupants of the room looked up to see a regal older woman, dressed in a dark green and white embroidered kimono. Large emeralds and jade hung from magnificently carved wooden chopsticks in snow-white hair.

"Aa, grandmother!" Sakura instantly stood up and bowed halfway. "Gomenasai!"

"Sakura, when will you finally realize that being a kunoichi stains the image of a Shiori lady that you used to possess? Why can't we convince you that women were never meant to be ninjas? And who are these boys?"

The roseate female twitched as her grandmother bombarded her with questions. "A-anou, grandmother, these are my—"

"Disgusting and disrespectful! Do _all_ kunoichi wear skirts as short as that! I will _not_ have my granddaughter look like a slut—"

"_Enough_, grandmother!" Sakura cried, nearly ripping her short pink locks out in annoyance. When she attempted to do this, seven pairs of eyes shot directly towards her.

"Sakura, calm down! Listen to your—" Her mother tried to relax the ANBU medic, but Sakura merely continued.

"I love my job! I don't care what the family has to say about it! I love saving lives at the hospital! I love the feeling of relief when I save one of my teammates from certain death!" She announced, flinging her arm backwards to point at her teammates.

"But…"

"Short skirts are easier to move around in! If we suddenly got attacked right here, I'm not going to run in a goddamned kimono! It doesn't matter if I shop in the flea market either! They actually have nice stuff! You've tried controlling my life—how I dress, my job, you even tried marrying me off to some weirdo in Kiri!" She took deep breaths as she slouched forwards, regaining equilibrium.

The room waited for a response—parents flabbergasted by their daughter's outburst, grandmother disgusted by the spur of her granddaughter's out-of-line behavior. Her team watched intently, as they always do, with the eyes of geniuses, which look deeper into situations like these as compared to a normal human. On the other hand, little Emiko watched, the Shiori family's signature emerald green eyes hinting the pride she held for her cousin, but quickly hid it after remembering her stern grandmother.

The response they were waiting for happened as Sakura pivoted on her heel and turned towards the door.

"I think it would be best if I _did_ get disowned."

--

Sakura sat it the tall cherry blossom tree in her team's usual training field. She fiddled with a disembodied twig with a single petal still sitting at the pointy end of the twig. She swung her legs casually over the side of the branch like she always does, staring up at the sky dreamily.

3 whooshes resonated through the clearing, marking the presence of her three teammates in the upper branches of the tree.

"Meanies! You made the petal fall!" Sakura whined, a sarcastic edge to her statement. Dropping back to lean on the tree trunk, she glanced up to see the three genii sitting casually in the branches above her. "So, what do you guys want?"

"Your family won't disown you." Sasuke stated bluntly and, being the nearest, kicked the back of her head gently.

Neji crossed his arms and twisted backwards to give the impression he was facing the pinkette. "With your little speech, you somehow convinced your family that you truly love your job."

Shikamaru sighed, tucking his hands behind his head and leaning on the trunk. "We even went through the trouble of showing them around Konoha and letting them meet some of our friends and your patients." He muttered.

"To summarize, you have a nice family." Sasuke concluded, right before adding; "nicer than mine was, at least" at the end.

Sakura smiled and looked up to see her three boys basking in the sun, enjoying this period of relaxation. "Thanks," She whispered contentedly.

"By the way, you said something about '_Loving the feeling of seeing my teammates alive._" Shikamaru noted.

"So…?"

"Does that mean you love us?" Neji smirked as he watched Sakura hide her head in embarrassment.

"No!" Sakura quickly answered, before shrinking back. "Well, maybe…but I WILL NOT hesitate to kill you either."

**Next chapter preview:**

_"Life lesson for my dear boys."_

**REVIEWS!**


	7. Girls

**A/N: Hey guys, Bella's back! Sort of...I haven't updated in just about a year, so it's quite understandable if you want to slaughter me. But hey, I'M (somewhat) BACK! So here, enjoy this little snippet I present you as proof of my continuing existence! **

G is for Girls: Because you should never let her get bored.

Sakura sighed. She bounced the ball against the wall for the millionth time already. There was probably an indent on the cement for the consistent pounding it got as a result of her restlessness. Sure, at the height of her youth, she should be going out with friends, or even training in their usual field. But NO, she was stuck at home, bouncing a rubber ball against her poor, rented wall.

You see, they had to get their usual training field repaired. It happened once or twice a month, and usually only when the team had a mission. Tsunade suddenly felt like having it fixed NOW, so she gave the team a "day off".

So the three boys used this day to their advantage. Sasuke went off to work on the Uchiha estate- much of the land which has been abandoned for several years, and needed some fixing up. Neji decided to hang out with his cousins, and Shikamaru was probably off playing Shogi with his girlfriend.

Sakura, on the other hand, had no idea how she was going to waste the day away. She tried phoning Ino, but she was taking a shift at her family's flower shop. Hinata was already out of the question, as she was having some quality bonding time with relatives. Tenten wouldn't be free until the afternoon, which left Sakura a whole morning to herself.

She had finished three books: one, a medical book which she had memorized several years ago; another a romance novel Ino had given her for "inspiration"; the last being a self-help anger-management book she was recommended.

Finally, it was 1:30. She lunged for the phone and dialed Tenten's apartment.

"Hey Tenny! You wanna go out?" She practically screamed into the receiver.

"_Ow!-Sure Saki! Barbecue place in twenty?_" Tenten replied.

"Don't be late!"

~O~

"Tenny!" Sakura shouted from afar, waiting to receive her brunette friend in a large bear hug.

"Saki!" Tenten practically groped the girl, and they walked inside.

A few steaks later, the two girls were buzzing about, well, everything.

"So why exactly were you so anxious to go out?" the weapon specialist asked. "My ears were bleeding after that phone call."

Sakura giggled. "Weeeeelll, let's just say I was blown off by three men, and felt absolutely bad for myself that I just need a friend to talk to." She said, pouting maliciously.

Tenten caught on to her drift. "Ahhh, I see where this is going. You want revenge?"

"And I know you would be all but unwilling to help." Sakura added slyly. "So here's the plan…"

~O~

From a rooftop vantage point, it was a normal street, but only if you didn't know what you were looking for.

Down on this specific street is the headquarters for Uchiha Sasuke's fan club. Sakura chuckled at the fact that she and Ino founded it as schoolgirls, and it has grown to be a village-wide effort of many girls-in fact, it has headquarters in other countries too.

Sakura hopped down from the rooftop and crossed the busy street to the headquarters. She entered, and a scantily clad woman was sitting at the shady front desk.

"How may I help you?" She asked.

"Hello, my name is Haruno Sakura."

"Yes, we know who you are." The secretary answered harshly. "What do you want?"

"Well, I would just like to offer you a bit of information of Sasuke-kun's whereabouts today."

~O~

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!"

Cries ran throughout Konoha as Uchiha Sasuke was mauled by a group of fangirls, and as Neji was molested by another group of the same agenda, in front of his relatives.

"Well, that should teach them to leave me alone for the day."


	8. Hentai

**A/N: I told you I'd update.**

**Special thanks to .PEARLS for pitching a few ideas, then sharing her life story, then giving me an idea, which led to another idea, which led to THIS.**

**Enjoy! **

H is for Hentai: because the Byakugan has downsides too.

There was a major downside to being able to see everything-you can see through clothes too. Now Neji's a respectable young man, and his all-seeing power gives him the upper hand in everything, but there is that one downside, especially since he's always been grouped with some of the most violent women in the village.

The first time it happened, he was fourteen. Team Gai was traveling towards Grass to provide backup for the makeshift Team Seven. They had (finally) stopped for the night, and as it was routine, Neji would always keep the first and last watch.

It just so happened, on the first watch, Tenten decided to wash up in a nearby stream.

This could've been prevented if Tenten had told Neji she was going to wash her top as well.

Of course, he had gotten the proper cuts and bruises for his redemption. Tenten was never the even-tempered sort, and she kept her weapons very well maintained.

But the second time was much stranger. You see, the white-eyed man was consulting with Genma: resident flirt and overall horny bachelor. It wasn't about relationships or anything. He was just picking up a delivery of new senbon, and was just inquiring about the raised accuracy rate and poison content, etc.

They sat in a small coffee joint near Hokage Tower, which just so happened to be right beside the hospital. The topic suddenly changed from poison to the pink-haired medic just off her extra shift.

"So how's that Sakura, eh?" Genma inquired.

"Tolerable." Neji replied.

"C'mon, Hyuuga. You saying that not you or Uchiha have tried to tap that?" The brunette exclaimed. "I know she's a lot to handle, but hey, you gotta admit, she's pretty hot."

The white-eyed man just gave him a passive look. Sexually interested in **Sakura**? As if. Sure, she could be pretty, but the Hyuuga decided that her anger management issues and the compilation of blackmail she has in her closet is a complete turnoff.

Genma continued to describe the pink-haired medic. "She's such a babe! She's definitely grown curves in all the right places. C-cup, small waist, and look at those thighs! Imagine those wrapped around you as you-"

"Genma, I'd rather not hear your X-rated fantasies with my teammate." Neji cut him off in a monotonous voice.

"But seriously, you never thought about it?" Genma asked once again.

The younger man shook his head.

"Aw, well. More for me then, eh?" The jounin winked. "If that's alright with you, I mean."

"Haruno's personal life is of little interest to me." He answered bluntly.

Genma then stood up from the table. "Well, if she's more tired than usual during training, you know the culprit." He said with a wink and left.

Neji sat there for a few more minutes, wondering what Genma meant. Surely, that guy wouldn't try anything on Sakura. He's almost ten years older than her. It would be disrespectful on Sakura's name to go out with a man that much her senior.

Plus, Neji didn't like the way he talked about her.

It was only out of sheer, professional concern that he was checking her apartment. If Sakura wasn't functioning properly the next day due to…let's just say "abuse", the team dynamic would simply not work too well, ergo mission failure and possible suicidal tendencies of some perfectionist teammates.

He walked towards Sakura's apartment. It was on the farther side of Konoha, where Sakura was sure to find a lot of peace from all her friends living in the other districts.

There was a park nearby, facing the direction of her house. He sat on a bench and activated his Byakugan. From there, he could see no sign of Genma. _That's_ _good, _the Hyuuga thought. Then, he saw steam come out from under the her bathroom door. Would he dare check _inside_ the bathroom?

No, Genma wasn't that daring, now was he?

Neji thought about it.

Yes, he was.

The white eyed man hoped nothing was going on there and strengthened his Byakugan to check on the bathroom. He let out a sight of relief when he saw Sakura alone in the bathroom, sitting on the edge of her filling bathtub with her nose in a book. He was taken aback when he realized that she was only in her lacy green lingerie bottoms and had a towel haphazardly held against her torso. You can still see the dip of her hip and the luscious milkiness of her legs-

"HEYYYY NEJI! LIKING WHAT YOU SEE?" A familiar voice called him from afar, knocking him out of his concentrated state.

Neji looked up to see Genma walking towards him. "Didn't you just say that you'd be…" The Hyuuga asked in confusion.

Genma chuckled in response. "I gotcha! I knew you'd be curious about me trying to hit on Sakura and knew you'd be protective of her. And now, you realized what you've got right in front of your eyes." He said gleefully. "The truth being that both you and Uchiha have the hots for her! Took something risky like this to prove it, but I can see your aggravation as of right now. Guess you aren't so good at spotting these things, ne?"

While Genma was giving his little speech, Neji composed himself. Okay so Sakura was…desirable, but that doesn't mean he found her attractive…right?

And did he say Uchiha had the hots for her too?

Neji was back to his usual dominant stance, ready to punch the lights out of Genma. The older man disappeared though, and Neji had no energy to chase him.

"Next time…" He seethed. "I will get you Genma."


	9. Indecent

**A/N: It was really, _really_ hard to think of a word that started with the letter "I" that inspired me enough to write. GAH, it's harder than it looks. :( So forgive me for taking so long to update. **

**If you guys are interested in my other stories, please take a quick look at the poll I have put on my profile. It's to decide if I should or shouldn't continue _Impatience_ and _Dark Days_. I haven't touched those stories since '09, so if you care enough, how about take a peek? **

**Enjoy! And reviews are encouraged. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Naruto franchise, but I do own this story. Plagiarism is advised against. **

I is for Indecent: because they remembered her gender.

Though it was a fact, it was a fact often forgotten that Haruno Sakura is indeed a _woman_. Her three teammates though, often neglect this. Why exactly?

No one knew for sure, but the two reasons people suspect to be the most dominant are (1) she has super strength and wit that could knock any of her teammates out cold; or (2) she had the shortest hair in the team.

Not that Sakura could care less about her teammates' recognition of her womanly status. She believed that, this way, they would recognize her as an equal instead of belittling her as a female in a team of alpha males.

Of course, there are certain reasons as to why female shinobi—_kunoichi—_were placed in this godforsaken occupation.

Tsunade looked up at the four standing in front of her. They're four of the greatest shinobi of their generation. Their generation is also often praised as the biggest handful with their bohemian ways that elders cannot accept.

She almost regretted choosing this team for the mission. She couldn't help but imagine all the possible screw ups that could happen. Sure, that had a 0% failure rate, but she couldn't help but second-guess if they were the right team for this mission.

"It's a reconnaissance and possibly assassination mission, depending on the gravity of the damage." The blonde Hokage began explaining. "But it isn't as simple as it sounds."

"And why is that, Hokage-sama?" Sasuke inquired politely. He saw no complications in a recon-assassinate mission, especially when they're the top-ranking team in the the village.

Tsunade locked her fingers together, tension obvious in each digit. "Your target is a Mafia boss in town on the Konoha border named Hitsuko. He's suspected for trafficking women and placing them in nightclubs as...exotic dancers." She explained. "The means for collecting information and the possible assassination will be through...Sakura."

Instantly the three males directed their attention to their only female member. Her nose scrunched in distaste at what she _knew_ she had to do. Her teacher shared the same expression when she announced it.

"Sakura would have to...pose as one of the dancers in the club and get as close to Hitsuko as possible." The busty blonde stated simply. "You leave tomorrow morning. DISMISSED!"

~O~

Sakura was nervous. She knew she shouldn't have to be. As a kunoichi, she's been specially trained for missions like these. And she also knew _why_ it had to be her, despite the availability of kunoichi's with _way_ more sexual appeal than her.

The team is all set for recon-assassinations. They have strategists, Byakugan, Sharingan, an availability of poisons and jutsus that make no sounds at all. There was no way either that Tsunade could put another female on the team. They'd probably end up so in love with either of the three men (regardless of Shikamaru's "taken" status), that a mission would be hard to execute.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Shikamaru asked, in concern for his female teammate. Having been with Temari for a while, he's learned to respect women. And there was something about seeing Sakura scantily dressed in a red leather corset, fishnet stockings, and an unbelievably tight mini-skirt guarding her womanhood.

Sakura nodded, doing the final touches on her makeup before throwing on a full-length cloak to shield her from the night breeze.

Neji and Sasuke shared the same sentiment as their other teammate. Neji found it degrading for her to be dressed as such. Sasuke simply didn't want to think of what _else_ she had to complete the mission. But they composed themselves quickly, knowing Sakura was completely professional about it.

"The three of us will be entering the club as normal citizens. Sakura will enter from backstage and will be posing as the star performer, thanks to our source." Neji explained, noting that Sakura was able to audition at the next club the Mafia boss was to visit and gain that information from a dancer. "Once she catches Hitsuko's eye, we'll follow them to wherever he...takes her."

~O~

Neji. Sasuke and Shikamaru had successfully entered the nightclub without suspicion. They were all dressed as civilians, playing the role of men looking for some fun. They sat together in a circular booth, which gave them a view of both the stage and Hitsuko's table.

Hitsuko was a menacing looking man, with dark blue hair tousled accordingly, and a very twisted smile. His eyes were covered with stylish shades, and he wore a purple suit. He leaned forward in excitement as the music started, and a single spotlight fell onto a beautiful girl standing in the center.

She had on a ringmaster-esque coat on top of a sparkling tuxedo looking bodysuit. Her legs were only covered in fishnet, and ended in killer high heels. She lifted the top hat to reveal shoulder length pink locks.

Sakura smirked as she was faced with the crowd. More lights turned on to reveal back up dancers as she walked downstage, lip-syncing to a popular song.

"_A kiss on the hand may be, quite continental but diamonds are a girl's best friend,"_ The music played, and Sakura danced across the long ramp that led around the nightclub. Her plan was to do a few rounds as she danced, then end the song on Hitsuko's table.

"_A kiss may be grand,"_ She hung onto a pole and lifted herself up, extending a leg in the air gracefully. _"but it won't pay the rental on your humble flat or help you at the automat."_ She mouth the lyrics with ease, knowing the song since teenhood. She playfully winked as she continued dancing.

The three shinobi watched with intent, not knowing that Sakura was capable of...that. Genma's description of her rang in Neji's head.

'_She's such a babe! She's definitely grown curves in all the right places. C-cup, small waist, and look at those thighs! Imagine those wrapped around you as you-'_

Neji shook his head, intent on shaking out Genma's words. Surely, each of the descriptions above were accentuated by her costume, especially now that she roughly opened the coat that covered the upper half of her torso. When she and her backup dancers stomped, his direction was brought to her upper legs.

He looked away, feeling extremely indecent for staring at his teammate that way.

Instead, he directed his attention to Hitsuko and his men. Hitsuko wore a twisted smile, signifying that his interest had been perked. The mission was a success so far. All they had to do now was kill him.

Sasuke, on the other hand, could not stop staring. Okay, well, it didn't _look like_ he was staring. He'd probably deny that he was, and call it "intently observing". He watched Sakura with care, still somewhat in disbelief that this was the awkward 12-year old he was teamed with more than ten years ago.

Shikamaru looked at both his teammates' agony. He felt lucky that he had a woman waiting at home, regardless of how troublesome she turned out to be. But regardless, he didn't want to see his teammate this way. It was the perfect strategy, but still.

"_Diamonds..."_ The last few lines rang out, and Sakura was swinging around the pole in front of Hitsuko's table. She let go and got on all fours, crawling towards the Mafia boss. She lay low, giving him a nice view of her cleavage.

"_Diamonds..." _She stopped crawling, looking straight at the Mafia leader. She arranged herself to sit in an erect, lady-like way, her crossed legs hanging over the table and angled for the eyes of her target. _"Are a girl's best friend!"_

Suddenly, three shinobi stood up. Sakura felt their chakras spike to unbelievable points, and within miliseconds, all three of her teammates had weapons pointed at Hitsuko and his henchmen.

"Hitsuko Remi, in the name of Konoha, you are under arrest." Shikamaru announced, pushing a kunai threateningly into the Mafia boss' throat. The man was scared out of his wits, taking the threat very seriously.

An hour later, with Hitsuko and his men detained in a local jail and several of his victims in waiting for relocation into _proper_ occupations, the ANBU team regrouped.

Sakura approached them, stomping her high-heeled shoes into the street, showing how angry she clearly was.

"Seriously, I had him at my fingers! That wasn't the plan!" She scolded, finding the interruption very unprofessional of her teammates. She continued shouting obscenities, regardless of the passing citizen wondering why a woman dressed so scantily was screaming at three, clearly larger men than her.

She stopped suddenly when she felt a weight on her shoulders. The pinkette looked up, her emerald orbs met with three pairs of concerned eyes.

She pulled the piece of clothing—Sasuke's outer jacket, Uchiha symbol and everything—closer to her, basking in the warmth. She hadn't realized she was still in costume.

"You were indecent." Neji explained in a cool tone. "You are too respected to appear as such."

Sakura then gave her three teammates a small smile, understanding their concern. "Thank you." She said, a tear welling up in her eye. With very few words, her boys had just expressed how over protective of her they were.

And she didn't mind the least bit.

**A/N: Have it in your heart to drop a message? **

**Next time:**

_"Bless your deceased souls!"_

**'Til next time!**

**~Bella**


	10. Jokes

**A/N: Regardless of the...time it took for me to update, I would rather quite call myself punctual. This chapter wasn't so hard, and I needed to write in order to stop my hands from itching to suffocate my cousins in their sleep. I've been busying myself with other things too, like catching up with my creative photography (my sick excuse for not taking any summer courses), touring my cousins around the city (AKA babysitting), enrolling myself (JUNIOR YEAR BABY) and family trips to the beach (the highway is a parking lot).**

**And, no, I haven't written anything in honor of the royal wedding. Or have I? - evil smirk - **

**Just read, and find out. ;D**

**Disclaimer: I'm too broke to own a successful manga/anime series. I own this fanfiction though.**

J is for Jokes: because it takes a genius to get it.

There was rarely any date that the six members of the partially dissolved Team Kakashi were all free at the same time. Kakashi and Sai have busied themselves with ANBU missions, as did Sasuke and Sakura. Yamato taught youngsters ninjutsu in the Ninja Academy, while Naruto was busying himself with a genin team composed of a Hyuuga branch member, a sweet Inuuzuka girl, and a hyperactive kid with no special origin.

"Sakura-chan! Sasuke-teme!" Naruto called out to his two teammates as he and the wood-wielding sensei sat in a booth in Konoha's most famous barbecue place. The medic and the Uchiha survivor had both come from training, though nothing too harsh for either of them to be injured or exhausted.

"Hey Naruto, Yamato-taichou." Sakura greeted with a charming smile, while Sasuke acknowledged both with his signature nod. They both slid in the circular booth, with Naruto and Sasuke on either side of the kunoichi, and Yamato at the very end.

Sai arrived next, plastering a small grin. "Konbanwa." He said, grabbing one of the two chairs aligned to the circular table. The other was left for the usually late Kakashi, who arrive 10 minutes after the artist.

"Gomen, I was—" He started, only to be interrupted by Sakura and Naruto shouting 'LIAR!' in unison. He sat down in defeat. "How long were you waiting?" He asked.

"About 15 minutes." Yamato answered, as the food came.

"Damn, I'm loosing my touch." Kakashi said with a sigh, not knowing that the other five members had all set the time of meeting at 6 o'clock instead of 7 o'clock, tricking the copy-nin into seemingly coming a bit earlier than his usual.

"Whatever. LET'S EAT!" Naruto cried, tapping his chopsticks together eagerly, and the rest of the team followed in suit.

Dinner went on with comfortable chatter, but everyone knew it wouldn't last long. Knowing their team, they'd probably blow up the place. Again.

"Hey, I've got a joke!" Naruto piped up. When he heard no objection from any of his teammates, he continued. "I got this from Ryuzaki-chan!" He cited his hyper little genin, the one that reminded him much of himself. "So a burger walks into a bar..."

"Burgers don't have legs." Sasuke retorted.

"Sasuke-teme, it's a joke..." Naruto replied, sounding slightly disheartened, but continued. "And then he sat down there and said—"

"Burgers don't have asses." Sasuke interrupted once again, nonchalantly grilling a slice of tomato.

Naruto's cerulean eyes narrowed to stare at the Uchiha. "You're right, Sasuke-teme. Burgers don't have asses." He restated in a matter-of-factly manner. A grin creeped to his lips as he continued. "They have buns!"

Both Yamato and Kakashi held in snickers. Sakura smacked the blonde on the head, obviously somewhat insulted. Sai was left there to wonder what the connotation meant.

"Twenty-two, and you _still_ act like a twelve-year old!" The single kunoichi in the group scolded.

"Eh, Sakura-chan, Sasuke-teme just set it up perfectly!" He defended. "I just needed to seize the opportunity!" Naruto reached around Sakura to pat the raven-haired avenger on the back. "I always knew you had it in you to pitch something like that!"

Sakura was speechless, not knowing what was more baffling: Naruto knowing a long word like _opportunity_ or Sasuke actually _trying_ to be funny.

"It was going to have to come out sooner or later. Like that stick up your ass." Sai had commented, plastering a fake smile.

Sasuke simply appeared emotionless, but inside, he was just as red as the (now overcooked) tomato he had been nursing on the grill.

"I expected such." Kakashi added, putting his chopsticks down on a miraculously empty plate.

(Until now, after almost ten years, none of his students have actually seen his face.)

"Why is that, Kaka-sensei?" Naruto wondered, his eyes gleaming with curiousity.

"Sasuke, have you ever met your Aunt Manami?" Kakashi mused, his eye turned into an upside-down U.

Sasuke shook his head, but said "I have heard of her."

"Well, her brother was Uchiha Obito."

"The significance of this being...?" The spiky-haired man asked his sensei, not understanding his point.

"He was the one Uchiha I knew of who pitched jokes. Probably the only Uchiha I've seen laugh hysterically." Kakashi said.

"Bless your deceased soul!" The female genius cried out to the soul of the Uchiha's black sheep. Sakura nudged her teammate with her elbow. "Ne, Sasuke, maybe you got your funny bone from him!" She teased. _'I'm never gonna let him live this down.'_

~O~

A few days later, after the dream team's training session, something that Sasuke had hoped Sakura would've forgotten resurfaced it's ugly face.

Once again, they were in their old oak tree. It was too routine for anything, and Sakura wasn't one who could sit around and wait. She was known to be extremely restless, and it was extremely obvious when she turned around on her perch on the branch. She lay on her stomach, resting her chin on folder arms and turned to face the Uchiha on their team.

"Ne, ne, Sasuke." She called out to him.

He barely let his eyes move from the pages of his book on doujutsus. "What." He deadpanned.

"Sasuke, tell us a joke." She practically demanded, but the tone of her voice was too sweet to sound the least bit demanding.

At this, Neji broke from his meditative smirked, shifting around his position on the boulder. Shikamaru opened his eye slightly, fully alert of the future banter between the two members that could maybe—actually, _most probably—_become interesting. Or deadly. There were several ways the situation can go.

"I do not know any jokes." He replied simply, but everyone could the small crease between his eyebrows. He looked up to send a knowing and irritated glance to the smug kunoichi. She flashed him an innocent smile—something that resembled his signature smirk with her bottom lip was hidden playfully—but had a malicious gleam in her eyes.

"Of course you do!" She answered, her voice a little more bubbly than usual. "You and Naruto made that great joke about the hamburger!"

Shikamaru straightened himself up the tree trunk, sitting on the opposite side of the Uchiha. He hid his smirk as he said, "Just tell a joke already to get her off our backs."

Neji let out a signature grunt, but it sounded amused more than anything.

"Tell us, Uchiha." He encouraged smugly.

Sasuke didn't waver. He kept completely silent, attempting to concentrate on his book. Sakura was playing coy, giving him knowing yet playful looks he tried to ignore. After a long (and quite _awkward_) moment of silence, Sakura knew she had to break it. She twisted herself on her branch, in a way that she was purposely going to fall...

...on Uchiha Sasuke's lap.

The Byakugan user was taken aback. Shikamaru noticed a slight twitch in his violet eyes, and the downturned position of his mouth. He scoffed at this, knowing too well what it meant.

_'_They _don't even know what it means.'_ The pineapple headed genius inwardly sighed, thankful he had a woman waiting for him. He'd rather not be...subjected to the wiles of his female teammate.

"_Sasuke-kun..._" Sakura said, resurfacing the name she'd called him in their genin years. She held a soft pout, obviously mocking with her eyes. "Tell me a joke."

The Uchiha, if not an Uchiha, would've been the same shade as his favorite misunderstood fruit. Instead, he cleared his throat calmly, attempting to push off his pink-haired teammate off his lap. In return, she simply wrapped her arms around his neck. He rolled his eyes in an annoyed manner.

"Sakura, get off my lap." He demanded.

"Tell me a joke." She replied with equal fervor, staring him square in the eyes.

"Fine." He blandly accepted the challenge. He then inhaled sharply, annoyed by her request. "Burgers can't sit down. They don't have asses. They have buns."

The team was so silent, you could have been able to hear Neji's little voice debating with itself if he should indulge in the fact that if he lowered his head a little, he got a full view of her inner thigh or; if he should murder Uchiha Sasuke.

But of course, you can't.

Sakura narrowed her eyes, unsatisfied. In a quick move, she pushed herself out of Sasuke's lap, and trotted away silently.

Shikamaru snorted, clearly figuring out the situation before the two other genii.

"Guess the joke's on you."

* * *

**A/N: JOKE'S ON YOU! Nothing for the royal wedding. But there definitely is a _lot_ of sexual tension now. Though I do believe I'm simply addressing the fact that BOYS HAVE HORMONES TOO.  
**

**On the other hand, I do have something I can promise you in the next few months. I'm planning to make somewhat of a graphic depiction of each of the A-Z chapters. I'm not entirely sure how, but it's a project that'll keep me grounded in the future. :) It'll most probably be on my deviantart account, under the name BellaAngela. **

**Well, that's all the juicy genius drabble for now! **

**JA!**

**~Bella**

**PS: A review would be nice. ;)**


	11. Kids

**A/N: YAY FOR PUNCTUALITY (when in reality, my cousins have been staying over, and: 13-year old with mentality of 8-year old + 10-year old sister + violent 6-year old + diva 7-year old = anger issues that prompted anger-fuel writing)!**

**This is very unnatural, but yes, I am indulging you. **

**HEHEHEHE, perfect timing, since this chapter is called KIDS! [and stars a very intelligent, very devious 8-year old.]**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or any of its characters. Maybe Little Asuma [the intelligent, devious 8-year old], because for all we know, Kurenai had a girl. o_O**

* * *

K is for Kids: because babysitting's more interesting when the kid's smart too.

"How troublesome..." Shikamaru drawled, staring his deceased teacher's spouse down, attempting to change her mind. He was obviously failing, but it didn't hurt to try.

"Well Shikamaru, I have no choice. It's either you, or...no, just you." Kurenai replied, closing the pack with a quick zip.

"I have training." He reasoned.

"That's never stopped you from sleeping, so why not use your slacking valuably and watch over your godson?" The red-eyed woman scolded, arms on her sides.

"Tell me again why Chouji or Ino can't do it?"

"He's having a stomachache, she got hay fever a few days ago."

"She's a medic." Shikamaru muttered to himself, knowing full well that Ino just wanted time off. Again. "Hinata?"

"Mission, with Kiba and Shino." The older woman explained, then laughed to herself. "As if I'd leave Asuma-kun with any of those boys _without_ Hinata there." She said, citing the rowdy dog-nin and the impassive bug-user wouldn't be very good babysitters.

Shikamaru let out a troubled sigh. "_Fine_, I'll watch over him, but I'm gonna have to take him to the training fields with me this afternoon."

Kurenai returned the sigh as she looked at her living room wall clock. "I have no choice. I'm already late by Kakashi's standards. Just make sure you show up to pick him up from school, okay?"

The pineapple head stood from the couch as Kurenai was about to leave. "I know."

With a small smile, the motherly woman pat the ANBU's head. "You aren't a genius for nothing, Shikamaru. Now take good care of my son. I'll be back in three days!" She ran out of the house hurriedly, Shikamaru following her out the door.

"Troublesome mothers..."

~O~

Shikamaru took his time—after all, he had another three hours—before picking up 8-year old Asuma Jr. (Kurenai wanted to pay homage to her late husband) from the Ninja Academy. He got out at 3 PM. Shikamaru stood outside the red building five minutes before, occupied with watching the clouds.

"Uncle Shikamaru!" The brunette boy called out from the academy's entrance five minutes after his uncle's arrival. "Mama told me you were gonna pick me up today."

Shikamaru gave the kid a small smile, squatting to receive the hug he hinted with his arms wide open. "Missed you kid. How've you been?" He asked politely, putting Asuma down and taking his hand, leading him towards the training fields.

"I've been good. Homework's a drag and all," He quoted his favorite uncle. Shikamaru couldn't help but smirk. "But I'm trying my best to be as awesome as you, Uncle Shika!" He exclaimed excitedly.

The smirk dropped. He knew the kid was going to give him a hard time. _'This is the consequence for Konohamaru's influence.'_ He thought to himself, noting as to where the hyperactive side of the kid came from.

"Kid, bad news." Shikamaru started.

"What's it, Uncle Shika?" Asuma stopped walking, staring up at the older male with large red-brown eyes.

"You're gonna have to come with me to train with my team." He stated.

Large, red-brown eyes blinked expectantly, while small black ones narrowed, waiting for the reaction. Probably an _"aw, man!"_, considering he _is_ Shikamaru's godson.

"THAT'S SO COOL! I GET TO WATCH THE DREAM TEAM SPAR!"

_'Dammit, I should tell Kurenai to get him to stop hanging out with Konohamaru...'_

~O~

"Oy, Shikamaru! You're late!" Sakura cried from her position on the grass. She was apparently trying to recover from some horrible thing either Neji or Sasuke had inflicted on her, judging by the chakra glowing around her torso and upper arms. She suddenly jumped up when she saw the little figure latched onto Shikamaru's left leg. "Is that...Asuma-kun?"

"Oh, Doctor Sakura-neechan!" Little Asuma's face lit up as he waved eagerly. When he caught eye of the other two genii though, his happiness was replaced with something more akin to fear.

Sakura and Shikamaru followed the boy's gaze, watching the intimidating Hyuuga and brooding Uchiha walk their way.

"It's fine, Asuma-kun. The scary men are actually very, very nice." Sakura cooed, causing the said men to twitch slightly.

Shikamaru snorted, turning to the team captain. "What are we doing today?" He asked.

"Free-for-all. Started without you." Neji explained bluntly.

"Up for another round?" Said the Uchiha with a cocky tone in his voice.

Sakura held her hands up to say no. "I'm sitting this one out. That last Jyuuken really got to me. Besides," She jerked a thumb towards Shikamaru's godson. "Someone's gotta watch over the kid."

"Yay, Doctor Sakura-neechan will sit with me!" The child cried in admiration, disengaging himself from his godfather and latching on to the pink-haired kunoichi. The two walked to the large oak tree in the clearing, sitting themselves down by its roots. The medic then continued healing herself as she and little Asuma held a conversation.

~O~

About half an hour later, the three boys came back from their free-for-all. Neji's robe was slightly charred, as was Shikamaru's pant leg. Sasuke's Uchiha shirt was almost completely shredded, hanging only by the fabric on his shoulders. Though their clothes were in disarray, there was barely any blood, and Sakura didn't waste any chakra in healing them.

They assembled in the way they usually do after training, except that Sasuke opted to sit in the gnarly branches of the tree while Sakura and Shikamaru leaned against the tree trunk, entertaining the 8-year old in their midst.

"Troublesome kid," Shikamaru commented, but the action of patting his head gave away the fact that this boy is very important in his life. "Sorry if he bugged you."

"I wasn't bugging Doctor Sakura-neechan!" Asuma retaliated, making a 'hmph' sound to add to it.

Sakura's hand made a sweeping motion. "Don't mention it; I love kids. Besides, we were just talking about you and Temari."

The pineapple head raised an eyebrow, looking at his guilty godson. "What about me and Temari?"

"Just that I really like Temari-chan, and that I want _cousins_! Baby cousins who I can teach when we get older and when I become a cool shinobi like you guys!" Asuma declared with a cheeky grin.

Neji and Sasuke both smirked, regardless of them facing away from the conversation. Sakura smiled, slightly amused at the prospect of an extremely smart kid with a giant fan, scruffy golden hair and a really smug smirky face.

Shikamaru felt blood rush to his cheeks, but forced it down quickly. "A bit early to be thinking about that, kiddo."

Little Asuma pouted, but his attention was then turned to the medic in the team. "Then, I want the kids from Doctor Sakura-neechan and Uchiha-san or,—or Hyuuga-san—yeah! I want their kids to be my playmates, but since I'll be older than them and I can say that I'm smarter and more experienced that the Uchiha or Hyuuga kid!"

At this, the four geniuses were flabbergasted. Sakura, mostly, as she had turned a shade of red that clashed horribly with her bright pink hair. Sasuke and Neji just looked at each other with something that could equate to rivalry.

"Kiddo, it's a little too early to think about that." Shikamaru answered after a long, _long_ moment of awkward silence.

_'Though, it isn't impossible.'_

* * *

**A/N: Okay, the kid _doesn't know_ that he's extremely intelligent and devious. SO INTELLIGENT AND DEVIOUS, that he was able to get the Dream Team on edge. :D**

**HEHEHE, so I updated early, got a little fluffy hotness in there, and released some of my anger on my (poor, abused) keyboard. I THINK I DESERVE A MEDAL (or a review). - wink wink - **

**Hope you enjoyed! L will hopefully come as soon as K did! (yes, I address the chapters by their letters. -.-")**

**~Bella**


	12. Locks

**A/N: Bella in the hizzay! Okay, anyways. Hi. Sorry this is a bit delayed, but a lot's been happening. SB01 (my very lovely stepsister) was visiting, so we were a bit preoccupied with everyone else's wonderful works! And you know, family outings and such, blah-di-dah. So yeah.**

**WHO HAS READ CHAPTER 539? HOLY CRAPALAPPA! NOOO NEJI!**

**In other news, he didn't tie his hair, and it went FWOOSH in all its wonderful silkiness~ ****AND A NEJISAKU MOMENT! *melt***

**Anyways, enjoy the newest addition to _A-Z: The Dream Team, Uncut!_**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. **

* * *

L is for Locks: because they all have pretty hair—she noticed.

The four cloaked ANBU raced for their home village with the rain heavily pounding on their heads and backsides. This wouldn't have been a problem, really, but even the best ninja had their limits. Moments ago, Sakura had just finished healing a (_giant, gaping and very very deep_) hole in Sasuke's side. Shikamaru's hand was nearly sliced off, and Neji had a long slash across his left thigh.

Needless to say, she was tired.

"Neji, we need to stop." She shouted over the pouring rain. She usually needn't to, since she was in the middl of the formation and the captain was right in front of her, but the sound of water falling from the sky in unusually large droplets drowned her voice out.

"Tired already, Sakura?" Sasuke teased, running alongside the medic. His Sharingan was on, bringing her to the conclusion that even _the great Uchiha Sasuke_ needed assistance in the horrible weather as well.

"Not all of us _measly humans_ are as talented as you." She remarked with a scoff. "Anyways, can we please, _please_ stop for the night?"

Without looking back, Neji simply deadpanned. "No."

Shikamaru caught up with the rest of the group, as he was trailing behind a little slower than usual. "Sakura's right, Neji. Visibility is low for people like us without your doujutsus. It's best if we stop for the night to regain our strength. You must be pretty drained too."

Neji stopped, seeing logic in Shikamaru's reasoning. "Fine," he said. "There's a town nearby. We'll stop there for the night and set to leave for Konoha at 5 AM sharp." The captain concluded, setting course a little more to the west than their original target.

~O~

"ONE ROOM? Are you serious?" Sakura cried, pounding her fist on the receptionist's counter. The keeper of the small inn was already in a pair of striped pajamas, looking very cozy in a terrycloth robe. Sakura was obviously envious of the man as she was dripping wet. The innkeeper should consider himself lucky that she retained her white mask on, as he was saved from the menacing curl of her lips.

"I-I-I'm sorry ANBU-sama," The innkeeper stuttered, handing them the key. "There are many travelers that have gotten stranded during the storm and found themselves here."

Sakura groaned out loud, grabbed the key from the fearful innkeeper and found her way to room 107. She unlocked the wooden door, quickly slipped out of her boots, threw her cloak over the ladder of the bunk bed that she indirectly claimed was hers, pulled out a package scroll from her backpack (which she threw onto the bed as well) and entered the bathroom, all without stopping her strut.

The three boys followed in wake, as she left the door wide open in anger. They each gave a sigh (whether it was internally or externally) as they settled themselves neatly, their own areas contrasting the kunoichi's greatly.

Shikamaru took the bed under Sakura's, being a long range fighter that could quickly defend the medic. Neji took the lower bed of the bunks next to the door, so he can monitor movements outside to the best of his capabilities. Sasuke would take the bunk above him, being the fastest of the four.

Shikamaru settled himself in first, sinking into the thin mattress of the lower bunk. He tried to lie down without dampening the bed with his gear, knowing full well that he wouldn't be able to do anything about it after. A moment of contemplation later, he then slumped on the floor, sitting in a puddle of rain water dripping from his person.

He began to remove his armor, and Sasuke and Neji had began to do the same. Shikamaru then reached upwards with a tired arm and pulled out the leather cord out of his hair, letting his his brown locks fall to his shoulders. He shook some excess water out, and raked a hand through it before he was satisfied with a certain amount of smoothness.

Sasuke had shook out his hair, leaving it in a tangled mess very different from his usual spiky hair-do. The wetness matted his dark locks to his forehead and to the back of his neck. With that, he definitely did look a lot like Sai. He paid no mind though, proceeding to clean the blood off his katana.

Neji, on the other hand, was struggling with the knots in his long brown tresses. Though he's not very particular with his hair, he didn't like the feeling of knots in it. He looked as if he was ripping the strands apart to remove said knots, but was failing miserably.

At that moment, Sakura exited the bathroom, dressed in a clean ANBU uniform, minus all the armor and gear. Her hair was quite damp, but was brushed straight through. Even when wet, it didn't even touch her shoulders.

After replacing her scroll in her pack, she noticed Neji's trouble with his hair. "Need help?" She offered.

Neji stopped the ministrations on his chocolate brown locks to glare at the girl. "No thank you." he deadpanned, too proud to let anyone assist him with his crowning glory.

"C'mon," Sakura pushed, once again opening her toiletries scroll. She pulled out a fine-toothed comb and started approaching her captain with it. Shikamaru and Sasuke could see the discomfort mar Neji's features as Sakura forced him into a sitting position on his bed. She then knelt behind him, making her taller than him. She brought the comb down on his hair, untangling just some of the knots that appeared due to the rain.

The other members of the team stared at Sakura calmly untangling Neji's hair, not one of them making a motion to take the unoccupied bathroom.

"Wow," Sakura admired. "You're hair's so soft."

Neji, in an attempt to gain his manly pride back from the conniving medic, smirked. "I've been graced with a very prized genetic combination."

Shikamaru rolled his eyes as he collected himself to take the bathroom next. "Fancy Hyuuga talk for 'it's naturally prettier than Sakura's'."

Before said medic could retaliate, Shikamaru cleverly disappeared behind the bathroom door.

Sasuke continued cleaning his weapons as Sakura continued brushing Neji's hair. He had stopped struggling, and succumbed to the routine bringing of the brush through his hair. He wouldn't admit it, but it was very relaxing. Hands that could heal. Neji almost jumped though at the realization that the same hands could kill.

Obviously, the lone kunoichi couldn't stand the silence, and started speaking. "I've been thinking of growing my hair out." She thought aloud. "I mean, out of the four of us"—the men assumed she was referring to the females in their core group of thirteen—"I have the shortest hair."

"Hinata-sama's hair is long by tradition." Neji defended.

"I wasn't talking about the girls." She said. "Although, Hinata's hair is pretty too. And so is Ino's—Ino's hair has _always _been pretty—and, come to think of it, if Tenten didn't wear her hair in such uptight buns, her hair'd be nice too."

Curious little Sasuke then joined the conversation, quirking an eyebrow at the kunoichi. "Then who were you talking about?" He asked with a seemingly bored tone.

"Oh, you mean by _the four of us_?" Sakura repeated her former statement. "I really did mean the _four of us._ The team."

To prove her point, Sakura had stopped brushing the Hyuuga's hair. She then reached out for Sasuke on the opposite side of the bed, who flinched at her touch.

"See, you've got long hair too." She noted. "Wow, your hair's really thick." She bunched up the loose black tresses in her petite hands, admiring yet another wonderful genetic combination in the form of Uchiha Sasuke's scalp.

"Hn," Sasuke gave his trademark grunt, but didn't raise his hand to swat away the medic nin. She started massaging his scalp. He closed his eyes in pleasure and lithe fingers pumped with healing chakra swept through his hair. He then opened one to see the reaction of a certain Hyuuga.

Only a stoic-boy-language expert (or another stoic boy) would realize that Hyuuga was livid.

Shikamaru exited the bathroom and took in the whole scene.

An oblivious Sakura, mindlessly droning to a smug Sasuke about the dangers of overusing Sharingan while massaging his head. A seemingly calm Neji watching the two, but with a spark of anger in his eyes.

Shikamaru couldn't help but smirk. If he were a lesser man, he would've doubled over in laughter.

"Hey Shikamaru, you've got nice hair too!"

If he were a lesser man...no, even a man of his calibre would've declined Sakura's scalp massages in return for his life.

* * *

**A/N: Hope you enjoyed! Please leave a review (ALMOST 100! I'M SO FLATTERED! *fans self*)! I love hearing what you guys think of the story. And I love how everyone loves the Neji-Sasuke rivalry! What's smexier than them smirking at each other over our little cherry blossom? ;;) And no future chapter of this story will go by without a dose of Shikamaru! I've been re-watching the "bring Sasuke back" arc and of course, Shikamaru is EVERYWHERE. **

**K, long author's note. I'm gonna bid you adieu now. **

**ADIOS!**

**~Bella**


	13. Marshmallows

**A/N: I HATE BEING A JUNIOR. I HATE HOMEWORK. I HATE CHEMISTRY. **

**I love fanfiction.**

**Sadly, this is turning into a Shakespearean tragedy, as me and my one true love are being torn apart by horrible enemies. This has actually been in my computer for quite a while, but I haven't found time to complete it or edit it. And even with my lack of a social life, I STILL don't have time to do it. **

**{although I am one of those freaks who still follows the manga. Yeah, SUE ME.}**

**Anyway, I apologize for being SUPER DUPER UBER LATE. I would like to commend each and every one of you for being loyal and clicking on the link in the email that notifies you that I have updated this story! I know it's going to turn out quite corny, but an update is an update. I thank all the reviewers who have popped up in my email stream AND BROUGHT HOPE AND-**

**yes. I'm done rambling.**

**ENJOY!**

**Disclaimer: Naruto and any other characters of the series belong to Kishi-sama. Marshmallows belong to anyone with a sweet tooth.**

* * *

M is for Marshmallows: because snacking takes skill.

"I don't believe you." Ino cried as her best friend trudged through her apartment door with bags full of junk food. "Do you _want_ to ward off Neji and Sasuke with your fat ass?"

Sakura, too preoccupied with organizing her loot, did not hear the middle part of the blonde's sentence. "Pardon?" She said, pouring a bowl of chips she understood were Hinata's favorite.

Ino smacked her forehead, but secretly thanked whatever god was listening that Sakura didn't hear. No matter how much of a gossip she was, she'd let those boys make with what they have for Sakura to find out themselves.

She thought of something quick. "Do you _want _to ward off boys like _Sasuke-kun_ with your fat ass?"

Sakura laughed as she balanced three bowls of chips, pretzels and cookies from her kitchenette to her coffee table, which was pushed off the carpet to make room for the queen-sized mattress where the four of them would squeeze.

"You really think I have time for a boyfriend? I barely have time for you girls already!" She acknowledged the rare occurrence that Hinata wasn't busy with familial duties, Tenten wasn't out on a mission, Ino wasn't running between the flower shop and teaching at the Academy the same time that Sakura wasn't working herself to exhaustion on ANBU missions.

"Sakura, you're turning twenty-three in a few months. BAG A BOY!"

The medic rolled her eyes. "Ino, you're turning twenty-three in a few months. BAG A LIFE!"

"Whatever." Ino retreated to the bathroom to change into pajamas, while Sakura prepared 'smores for the sleepover.

~O~

Twelve hours later, Shikamaru, Sasuke and Neji were at the training grounds. All three noticed the absence of their pink-haired medic. And yes, they did pose ownership over her, since she was their teammate.

"We'd be dead before we train without Sakura." Shikamaru noted in both a figurative and literal sense. The injuries they caused to each other would've killed them on several occasions if it weren't for the medic's exceptional healing skills.

Also, Shikamaru acknowledged that Neji and Sasuke would go all out on each other, spelling out death for either (or _both_) of them.

Without a word, they made an unspoken agreement to check on the pink-haired woman's apartment.

~O~

That same hour, three girls groggily made their way out of Sakura's apartment after a mere five hours of sleep. They cried out promises of coffee and shopping the following week as they exited the door, Sakura herself enthusiastically waving her friends goodbye.

Thirty minutes later, her living room was squeaky-clean. A miracle, really, since the girls were up 'til four AM watching DVDs and gossiping (regardless of the respect most of them held for other people, Ino made it too hard to resist). Luckily, Hinata is an equally obsessive neat freak, and cleaned up a bit before leaving.

By then, the remembrance of the lack of something to eat dawned on her. She made her way to her kitchenette, where half empty bowls and plates of the world's most fattening snacks sat. Contemplatively, Sakura shook her stomach. None of those unhealthy foods for now.

But she didn't have a choice.

Staring at her refrigerator, she found no sign of _anything_. Like, there was NOTHING.

With an annoyed sigh over her lack of time to actually do the shopping, she pulled out the lone milk carton, sniffed it and tossed it in the trash. She went back to the bowls of snacks and picked up a cookie.

Completely aware she had training, ANBU team or not, she was _not_ leaving the house on an empty stomach.

_Knock. Knock. _

_Ding dong!_

As she finished her cookie, she wondered who it would be.

That thought was quickly overwritten by a memory of her childhood call the _Marshmallow Toss_.

"It's open!" She yelled from her spot, analyzing a medium sized, white marshmallow she had recently just removed from a bowlful of them as if she was going to perform brain surgery on it.

And this is how three of the village's most talented ANBU found their field medic.

Tossing marshmallows in the air...trying to catch it...and failing.

"Some kunoichi you are." Shikamaru sneered, laughing at her failure. He remembered the game too: Ino forced him to play once. Considering wind direction and speed, plus height of the throw and weight of the marshmallow, he was able to perfect it every time.

"Just because I fail at Marshmallow Toss doesn't mean I'm a fail kunoichi." Sakura said, sticking her tongue out momentarily before tossing and missing another marshmallow.

Shikamaru, in a bout of smugness, picked one from the bowl, tossed it in the air and by calculating wind (0), height of the throw (2 feet, 1 inch) and the weight of the marshmallow (0.02 g), he caught it perfectly without even moving from his spot. With a smirk, he turned around and sat on the couch.

Neji and Sasuke noticed Sakura's grief. Truth be told, she was adorable. Solution? Cause her more grief.

Going through the same process as Shikamaru, Neji was able to toss and catch the marshmallow without having to move from his spot on the kitchen floor. He followed Shikamaru to the couch without batting an eye.

Sasuke did it as well, but to get Sakura more unnerved, he turned on his Sharingan.

"HEY, TURN THAT OFF!" She cried, pointing a finger accusingly the moment the marshmallow went airborne. "THAT'S CHEATING!"

"Hn," Sasuke replied with his signature smirk.

Wanting to ruffle the medic's feathers even more, he stepped towards her, grabbed a marshmallow from the bowl, tilted her chin upwards (with a slight pull to open her mouth) and _dropped the marshmallow straight into her mouth._

"You cheated." He stated simply, and went to sit on the couch.

After chewing and swallowing the marshmallow, Sakura's expression changed from horror to anger to delight in a matter of seconds. Fearing for the worse, Shikamaru and Neji were ready to point fingers at the Uchiha survivor.

"You know the rules of the game!" She cried happily. She then moved into what looked like a defensive stance and pointed to her teammate. "Uchiha Sasuke, I challenge YOU to a marshmallow duel!"

Off the side, Shikamaru shook his head. He often wondered what had attracted his teammates to Sakura in the first place. Sure, she's pretty and smart. But really, did all the pretty ones have to be so damn crazy?

* * *

**PS: 110 REVIEWS! TT^TT I'M SO FLATTERED! THANKS FOR LOVING THIS STORY AS MUCH AS I DO AND PLEASE CONTINUE TO NURTURE IT WITH YOUR LOVE AS I AM SOMETIMES A NEGLIGENT MOMMA TO THIS BABY!**

**~Bella **


	14. Nurse

**A/N: Hello lovely readers! Happy holidays! To start the year right, I decided to update! Yay! You should all be proud of me. I worked on this AAAALL break long...okay, not really. But I had the concept by Christmas and half of it done right before New Year's Eve. :D **

**Anywho, I hope you've all enjoyed your holiday! I'd really like to know how you spent yours. Maybe you have a different religion that doesn't celebrate Christmas, or if you just have your own family traditions. I'd love to know, so leave 'em in a review!**

**On the other hand, while we're all enjoying turkey (or in my case, roasted pig) surrounded by the people we love and abhor, a tragedy has hit. A typhoon named Washi (Sendong, locally) hit Southern Philippines last December 17th, 2011. It affected thousands of people, with the death toll at almost 3,000. Most of the victims were washed away by the floods as they slept.**

**For my countrymen reading this, hopefully you've done your part. Donations are always welcome at many establishments. For those abroad, prayers are always welcome. Pray for all those who had to spend their Christmas and New Year in shelters. Pray for those contracting diseases in crowded evacuation centers. Pray for the government that needs to adress all this. **

**I love you all, and MERRY HOLIDAYS! x**

**~Bella**

N is for Nurse: because their manly pride bagged them the best one.

All was at peace in Sakura's life. The ANBU team had been given leave for the Holiday season, and Sakura was using it to work extra hours in the pediatric ward of the hospital. Nothing made her happier than seeing little children enjoying Christmas.

By mid-December, the snow was thick and the air a frigid cold. Even she, a trained kunoichi, was bundled up in an undershirt, a wool sweater, long pant, knee-high boots, a forest green trench coat and a white-knit scarf her grandmother gave her last year. Her gloved hands were tucked in her pockets, let out only to save her matching knit hat from flying away with the chilly breeze.

She was delighted to reach the hospital. The warmth embraced her like a waiting friend, and she gladly accepted it. Passing the receptionists with a quick wave, she made her way to the children. They tackled her legs happily, excited to see their Sakura-oneesan again.

Sakura began working in the pediatric ward annually when she was taking under Tsunade's wing. The kids here were usually those with serious cases—isolation, serious injury, terminal illness—and couldn't go home for the holidays.

"Kids, Sakura-oneesan has a surprise for you guys!" She announced, gathering them around her. She was met with awing eyes and excited gasps as she brought out (sugarless) candy canes for all the kids. Everyone that received one got a kiss on the forehead as well. She then spent the next hour reading storybooks to them before starting with checkups.

By the time she was finished and about to go home, a receptionist nurse called her over, saying she had a phone call. As Sakura walked over to her, she couldn't help but wonder why the nurse had a far off, dream-like look on her face.

"Hello?" She said curiously into the receiver.

"_Sha-ku-ra..._I'm _shick_." The voice on the other end said.

At that moment, Sakura broke down...**laughing.**

"**YOU** are sick? Almightly Uchiha-sama is **sick**_?_ You gotta be kidding me." She said in between breaths. "Just come to the hospital."

"I can't." Sasuke's nose was obviously clogged, and his voice was raspy and hoarse. "I'm _schick_."

Sakura rolled her eyes. "That's what hospitals are for, Sasuke."

"Let me make _thish_ clear," he said, struggling with a lisp. "**I'm** _schick._"

Then did the medic get it. The (_poor, spoiled, egotistic brat of an_) Uchiha couldn't let his image be ruined if he's seen walking the streets of Konoha with a **cold**.

She gave a groan to tell him that he was a spoiled child, but nonetheless said "I'm on my way over."

~O~

"Well, your temperature has just hit 39 Celsius." Sakura analyzed the thermometer. "What the hell were you doing that got you THIS sick?" She inquired, knowing that Sasuke wouldn't let himself get sick.

"Training."

"How supplemental." Sakura berated. "Were you outside?"

Sasuke gave a slow nod from his place on the couch. He was in his pajama bottoms, and nothing else. One would expect Sakura to be immune to it after a gajillion times.

She was.

Sakura found herself immune to hot guys after spending so much time with them. It's not like she didn't find them attractive. Of course they were. It's just that she had a lot more self-control than other girls out there, so any seduction tactics by certain males will not be very effective.

"Were you shirtless, outside?"

Another slow nod.

Sakura allowed herself a face palm. "Sasuke, it's below zero outside and you didn't have a shirt on. **Of course** you'd get sick."

"_Justh_ make _ith_ go away." He said, attempting to rub the headache away.

A blanket was flung his way. "Wrap yourself in that." The medic ordered with a stern voice. "You've got to sweat it out. And **no**, that doesn't mean you can exercise or train. You need to sit here, drink a TON of orange juice and water, take your medicine every four hours. **GOT IT?**"

She knew Sasuke would absorb this effortlessly. He was already beginning to wrap himself in the blue wool blanket, and she expected him to stay under it. She also expected that she'd have to stay with him for the rest of the night. What she didn't expect was the next event that happened.

The telephone rang. Sasuke poked a hand out of the blanket he had maneuvered into, and picked it up. After a few muffled grunts, he passed the phone to his pink-haired companion.

"For you." He grumbled.

Baffled, she seated herself beside him on the grey couch and pulled the phone towards her, the cord stretching across the Uchiha.

"Yes?" She spoke into the reciever.

"Aah, Sakura-chan. It's Hyuuga Hinata." The familiar, quiet voice of the Hyuuga princess said with quite a bit of urgency, worrying Sakura. "I'm sorry to be bothering you and Uchiha-san, but the nurse at the hospital told me you might be here."

"Hinata-chan, is something wrong?" Sakura asked.

"It's Neji-niisama. He's quite sick. I'm afraid he's contracted the flu that's going around." Hinata said.

"Oh Hinata-chan, don't you have family doctors on call at the estate?" The medic asked.

"Well, that's why I'm calling." The hint of nervousness evident in Hinata's childhood days had just resurfaced in the last few words. "He..he only wants to be treated by you."

~O~

After a lengthy (albeit one-sided) debate with Sasuke, she finally got him to bed and got him to _stay there_. At 8 PM, she stepped back out into the cold, full of hot tea she made herself in the Uchiha's kitchen and made her way purposefully to the Hyuuga compound.

Sakura was always welcome with open arms in the Hyuuga compound. The door was answered by a lower house member, and she was escorted into the main members' house. From there, she made her way from memory to Neji's bedroom.

She met Hinata right outside his door as she abruptly exited the room and slammed the sliding door shut. The dark-haired girl looked exhausted, as if in an actual fight.

"He isn't very pleasant with a headache." She managed to breathe out. "Be careful."

Sakura sighed. "I know." She then pushed pass the other girl into the room.

She barely missed a pillow to her head with a quick snap sideways. Composing herself, she saw that Neji was a complete and awful mess on his bed. His brown hair was out of its dignified ponytail. Red rimmed his pale eyes and his forehead and bare chest were beaded with sweat.

Nope, hot, shirtless guy still had no effect on her.

"Neji, calm down! It's just me." Sakura cried out before another pillow came her way.

"It's painful." He moaned, clutching his head.

Sakura picked up the fallen pillows and walked over to the bed. She placed they _gently_ behind the prodigy and pushed him down ever so slightly to let him rest. Man, was he a **mess**, even more so than Sasuke was. Neji was shivering and sweating, his fever was soaring, and he probably had the worst migraine one could ever receive.

She sat beside him as he sat up and studied the thermometer. There was really not much she could do, regardless of his incessant begging. All he needed to do was take his meds and get rest, which she reiterated several times.

Moved out of pity, she put her hands on his temples, rubbing them gently. When he gave an approving moan, she went on to massage the rest of his head. Oh, she'd never get over his hair! It was just so damn soft.

Before she could get to his shoulders, Hinata came with a cordless telephone at hand.

"Sorry to disturb, but it's Temari-san on the line." She said, peeping through the small crack in the door she had made for herself. Apparently, she was still cautious of Neji's temperamental state.

Sakura really wondered how all these people could find her.

"What's it about?" Sakura asked, detaching herself from (a secretly very unwilling) Neji. She stood up to speak with the younger Hyuuga.

"Well, Shikamaru-kun has been vacationing in Suna and..."

"Don't tell me he's gotten sick too." She sighed, and exited the room quietly with Hinata.

~O~

Two geniuses were left in their beds thinking to themselves that night about how their favorite medic was torn away from their bedsides. _Just a little more_, they thought, _and she could've been mine_.

Neji, a witness to Sakura receiving a call in his own house;

Sasuke, who was a bridge to track said medic;

both wondered...why did Shikamaru always get her?


End file.
